Saturday, 4 April 2015

We Didn't Have PND in My Day

So much pressure to look perfect!!

...tops the list of things NOT to say to a mum who is struggling with peri-natal mental health issues (not just limited to PND).

No one said it to me, perhaps because I don't have (m)any maternal role models in my life (other than MrB's mum, who is amazing) and perhaps because I just don't meet many real people.

In one light, it is a thinly veiled criticism of 'women today' *insert eye roll*. However, far from seeing it that way, I think that it shows the tremendous amount of pressure women have on our shoulders in modern times. Equality and feminism are fabulous, and I am in no way bemoaning these movements, but they have driven women to strive for and expect to be able to juggle more than men are expected to (arguably)

Women (like me) feel that they should have the perfect body, a good job, a husband, clean and well-mannered children, cars, an excellent wardrobe, endless patience, perfect homes (PINTEREST!!) and untold traditional 'housewife' skills (cooking, sewing, cleaning ...caring about the bin being emptied). Throw in tighter household budgets and you have so much stress, so little time and even less energy. Don't even get me started with the obsession with needing to put on a facade for Facebook.

I feel like my generation feel pressure to be a superwoman combination:

Supernanny (unruly toddler skills).
Nigella (cares about eating and cooking food and dinner parties).
Kate Middleton (despite hard pregnancy shizzle, she still looks great....ok ok it's the money and the nannies).
Lauren Laverne (I want to be cool, and a mum).
and too many celebrity, airbrushed women, who I know I don't want to be, or look like, but I still believe that their skin is perfection without makeup (reality check, writers HAVE to say that so-and-so looks perfect)

So maybe PND wasn't as common, it was definitely talked about less than it is and women didn't have #pndhour, babycentre or Dr Google to help them work out a tight spot. Bear in mind that people say that cancer wasn't as common as it is now, but that fact is a combination of contributing factors. Don't take it as an insult, maybe say that thing about cancer in response?

And no, I don't care about the bin being long as I don't have to do it.

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