Monday, 29 December 2014

Self Care - a new year's resolution

On Christmas Eve I started a new self-care scheme.

I have 3 self help books, I take a selection of coloured pens and a nice notebook with smooth paper (from paper chase, of course).

I take this bag of tricks to Starbucks and sit and read a bit of each in sequence. Then I set myself a bit of 'homework'.

My books are a DBT workbook , which will hopefully help me to learn how to calm down my distressing emotional reactions to simple situations.
A book on self compassion, to help me to learn how to build myself confidence and to not be too harsh on myself all.of.the.time. reading several pages is enough to remind me that I'm learning a skill, and helps to lift my mood.
A book on the emotionally absent mother - this book is quite heavy duty, no it's REALLY heavy duty (see excerpt below). Reading it has shown me that in was emotionally neglected as a child. Which is really hard to compute and understand as an adult, where i thought I was, ahem, normal.

My first homework was to be more cuddly with the boys; N always chooses a busy time to stand at my feet saying, 'cuddle, cuddle, cuddle'. It winds me up, I always need to have the last word and I let it drive me bonkers.
I am responding to these requests with cuddles. And trying to relax about it. I deserve cuddles. The boys deserve cuddles. More cuddles!!

This isn't going to be weekly, but I hope it will be about once a fortnight. The same frequency that 'therapy' would be.


Just have a read of this bad boy!

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