Growing up with a mum who was emotionally unsupportive took its toll on my interactions with other girls and women. I had no idea how to be sisterly, how to respect the opinions, life choices and beauty of other women. I was raised to be judgmental, I was a judgmental arsehole in my head...
Until I started to tweet the #pndfamily. I was greeted and reassured with electronic hugs, and I remember feeling quite awkward...I wouldn't accept or like a real hug, so what am I supposed to do with twitter hugs?
I've been tweeting for 2 years about my post natal depression, electronic hugs are a mainstay of my online experience. I have learned the value of having someone to sit with you, in your darkest moments. Sitting together, being there, being kind when your depressed mind cannot remember how to be kind.
The sisterhood and solidarity shown to me in those early days helped me to learn, that I am capable of being nice, genuine and caring. That my empathy, kindness and experience have value not just to me, but to my family and other people who are struggling.
I was a jigsaw that was completely jumbled up. As I put myself together during the late part of 2014, the kindness of those people who had become my friends helped me to become someone better than I was before.
That's why I still, regularly check and interact with #pndchat. Because I want to be there for others who are in their own dark, sad, depressed, anxious places.
Trying to be everything, all at once, whilst teaching two little boys how to be more amazing each day.
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