I don't like babies

I have a confession, it isn't a secret, but it's a bit of a taboo...I don't like babies.

I could change a terry nappy at 9 years old, I made formula bottles, bathed multiple toddlers and fed little mouths when in was a child myself.

In short, I did more caring for preschoolers than many adults, before I'd reached puberty. I had done my bit and babies held no mystery for me.

Babies just look at you, and then they poo, cry, flail and the only feedback is a clean bottom and less crying. Yes, you get small glimmers of a budding personality, lile smiles, laughter, words, clapping. But crikey, they're BORING, one way conversation and endless games.

Give me a toddler over a baby any day (I'd rather have a guinea pig to be fair). They are great company, can be bargained with (never with m&ms) and are just FUN (miles more fun if they aren't your own, trust me).

I didn't get broody for our first baby, me and MrB just decided to give this baby thing a go. I was broody for a short while when E was about 6 months old.

I haven't been broody since, except for a guinea pig, a PAIR of guinea pigs to be precise. I love them.

I am the self proclaimed queen of potty training boys!

So, I've finally reached the level of blogging about potty training. Be prepared for a rip roaring read!

So at the age of 3 and 3 months, I think we *may* have found the way to help him to harness his daytime needs. Yay!

My potty training must haves

A potty - even a pound shop one - decorate it with stickers if it helps!

Crocs - we have ones from Poundland, just in case shoes are weed on!

Small pedal bin liners with sanitary towels - you can use them to line a potty when out and about. Makes getting out that bit easier

I advise waiting until your child is ready. Ignore the '2 year old rule' of the 80s, think more along the lines of 3 years. Cut yourself some slack!

I had 2 children in nappies...for the record, it was easy! You only have to remember your own toileting needs.

I have 2 boys, and I only ever have 2 days off with them at a stretch because of my working days. It's perfect for everything, except for 'potty training' advice in books, which usually suggests you have a week off with your little cherub and let them crap all over your carpet or garden.

So, my eldest, was potty ready at 33 months. He refused his nappy very suddenly, needed very occasional reminders and had 2 daytime accidents. Within 2 weeks he refused his bedtime nappy and the only thing we had to do was to stop a large bedtime drink of milk.

He was really easy!!

Now, Noah, has been aware of his bladder control for a while. So I pushed him, maybe a little earlier than I needed to. He tried, didn't like it and then refused to go near to a potty for months.

I've always had them coming to the loo with me, I've normalised toilets, discussing diarrhoea and 'leakies'. Making no big deal of anything, but letting them know what to do.

I was worried that Noah was afraid of the potty/ toilet, so I did what any self-respecting, smartphone-wielding parent would do...I googled! Each time either boy sat on the little blue plastic throne, I gave them a tiny piece of chocolate even with nappy and trousers on. Within a couple of hours, the fear had evaporated and Noah had discovered that it fitted his head. The blue really brought out the colour of his eyes!

A week later, after a few spells of leaving his nappy off, in was pottering in the kitchen and got shouts of 'done a wee' and with another hour 'done a poo!'. Ewan has been really helpful and supportive of his little brother today. He makes me very proud. They both do.

Update: no accidents at home, half a day of accidents at nursery (2nd day of training)and he has been dry day and night since.

Why I Don't Want to Win the Lottery

My mum and stepdad won the lottery in 2004.

4.3 million pounds.

It changed the life of my impoverished family. Before I left to go to uni, there were 8 of us living in a small 3 bedroomed house. One bathroom, one toilet, 2 adults and 6 children.

8 people, living off one fairly low salary (my stepdad was skilled, and he worked hard, I cannot fault that side of him).

So, yeah, me and my 5 younger brothers and sisters endured a very sparse childhood. So winning the lottery, for me was all about improving their lives. Their parents, their mum and dad could have made a huge difference to the youngest four, who were 14, 13, 12 and 6 years of age.

Instead, the parents spoiled the girls, and me and my eldest brother to some extent. Sure, they moved house, had en suite bathrooms and a room *each*, but the lack of emotional intelligence as well as mental health issues meant that it physically hurt me to see how badly treated they children were, especially my youngest two brothers.

My step dad gave up work, my mum didn't continue to work either. I cannot describe what I think of that situation, but suffice to say that I need to work, because my brain is self destructive when not kept occupied.

Winning the lottery may buy a huge house with a swimming pool, a Lamborghini and a gardener, but it cannot heal the wounds and legacy of terrible parenting. And, when the markets go bad, you could end up without any money...imagine.

I will never wish to win the lottery.